Center

I am searching out the last jello with fruit in it. The only way I really will eat jello since I think it is a useless substance unless sickened. In my lifegroup we are going through the "Cross Centered Life." What an excellent book that deals with exactly where I am at. Father, may my speech and thoughts tonight be focused on You and may You deal with me where I am at. Meet me here Lord and make my heart for You. I want now to be focusing more and more on You with each and every day that passes. You are not my center and this I confess....help me to bring You there. Without You moving it will be impossible. For now, all I want is You and this season of my life You need to be my focus.

The book is short and to the point but says so much truth. Tonight we sat around and talked about what it is that defines us. I already know the things that come to my mind and out of my mouth the most and so I have been working diligently to fight these. Father, forgive me that I give my love to another most often. How do I see anything or want anything more then You? Forgive me for my weakness. My constant sin. Today's failures that I knowingly go through with. I need You to work in me and give me the strength that I lack and the willingness to fight all other things that bum You out of my focus point. Without You as the center my orbit is completely off. Please bless these next couple months as I take off to just take You in.

We looked last week briefly at the relationship between Paul and Timothy. There are some great points I want to remember from this book....
2Tim 1:11-12
Of this gospel I was appointed a herald and an apostle and a teacher...I am not ashamed, because I know whom I have believed.

2 Tim 1:14
Guard the good deposit that was untrusted to you-guard it with the help of the Holy Spirit who lives in us.

1 Cor 2:2
"resolved to know nothing...except Jesus Christ and him crucified."

If only that was the definition of me without distraction. That is literally all and I really mean ALL that I really, really want to work on this time. There are other things but until Christ is really the center non of them will work out either. I don't want to try and be anyone but me. But...I want to pray without ceasing making each and every piece of my day with Him in the focus line. That is how I can glorify Him.

Practically speaking what does defining myself by my Father look like? Well, for me not getting on to the phone or computer the second I wake. Spending time in prayer to begin my day. Praying before eating not so that I become legalistic...because I really stink at that but because that reminds me what I eat for. That will help me to slow it down and eat the things I should (for training purposes, for health, less emotional eating, less doing it because food is good and more doing it to glorify He who made the food). Next, thinking and training my mouth and mind about Him. Maybe reading in the mornings or on lunch breaks. Being less attached to the cellphone or computer that rob more then enough time from God.

Delighting in Your presence and in Your way is what I seek. I want to love Your word, Your love letter and Your story. I want it to be the motivator of my moves. May I my life be a worship offering and work worthy of You. Today I messed up....big...probably. Not really sure why I am so weak that I continue to choose sin over You. I know the taste only hurts me and does not satisfy yet it proves to me more and more I am weak. No excuses...just seeking more. May You continue to move me, move with me and mold me. Goodnight my Father, my love...may nothing else matter. May nothing else temporarily satisfy. Help me to really get it.