Unsaid

There is so much swirling in my head and the plans that are panning out for the year are incredible. There is so much yet to do and so much life to live and I continue to chase it with what energy I have. Moments and things in my head are enjoyable at the moment and yet there is always a lingering confusing that I choose at this very second to overlook.

What a fun blessing and joy it has been as of late getting the opportunity to help out a very special brother in Christ. I love him dearly and I am having such a great time encouraging him and walking him through a delighfully fun girl situation in his life. It is so great how excited I am for him and of course for her as well. I saw it coming and a bit of a spark and now I just get to be a sister to him and her a well and watch God how your perfect plan unfolds. Thank you precious Father for allowing me to part of Your beautiful blessing for someone else. I pray Father that You continue to captivate both their hearts and if it is Your will that You continue to bring them together along on this beautiful journey. Precious!

Other delayed thoughts in my mind I can overlook because I can't do a single thing but hang out. I try not to think on them too often because then it will only lead me to questions I don't have a single answer for. I have to sit here and be patient and try to just love You and love the people in my life and trust that You have it. Thank You Father for continuing to bless this stubborn and unfaithful child. I continue to fall short and to choose sin and not all that You would have. Continue to drive my heart and convict me even in the ways I do not see that I sin. Father may I bless others and seek to love others more then myself and what I want. May You make this strange tug on my heart a little clearer as I can't explain it but I feel it. I beg You to be my guide for my actions and my pursuits.

Spain is in order God and may I continue to seek to serve You through how you have blessed and gifted me. Monday is Theresa's last night in the United States. The Paasch girls go back to Chicago tomorrow. There are relationships on my mind and some in question. You have blessed me Father tremendously with the people You have allowed in my life and they each have a purpose and a role. Thank You Father for Cathy and for the motherlike role she has taken in my life. It is such a praise and blessing and I love her guidance and protection. She is so sweet and gently is always pushing me toward You. So gracious and so encouraging. She cares so much and so deeply and so guinuinly. Thank You that she cares so much about my heart and wants so desperatly for it to be for You. She hurts when my heart is injured and in such a loving and motherly way wants to protect me from the damage it can be caused.

Clarity would be great Father but it is not my job to make things clear. I am going to just continue to run forward and try to push aside any feelings that may complicate things. It is funny to think about but I don't always know what to do with the way I feel and though I am very expressive it is not usually with heart stuff. I can verbalize it to others but not often to the people it deals with. It is strange to have to figure out what to do with heart stuff. Things you can niether explain nor control though control or surpress is exactly what I think is best. Help me to know what I feel, why I feel it and then what to do there or how to deal with it because I can walk away and leave it and ignore it because Father that is what I have to do . How else does a girl protect her heart?

Well, all this beside the point it is time to get ready for girls night out and about. Can't wait for dinner and a movie and lots and lots of girl chatter. Father, may You guide and bless that conversation and may we enjoy it immensly. Help me to continue to be a big sister and a role model for this ladies God. I love them all so dearly. Please bless the guy conversations that I know we will each bring up...may we be gentle in speech, not stir or arouse thoughts and emotions that are frustration or negative, God may we love our brothers for what they are and enjoy what You are doing in each of our lives. I pray for a Christ-filled prayer time that we all need so very much and Father may You bless each and everyone of these girls and may they live a life so desperatly devoted and wreklassly abandoned to You!