Wife Swap

DISCLAIMER: I do not necessarily believe any of the ways these people live...in fact I am usually seriously desturbed by it and have learned there are things to pray for that I had not even thought of before. And with that said...

So, I know this is not really considered a true form of educational T.V. but I rather enjoy watching Wife Swap. It is a series where they seem to choose two completely opposite families and the wives switch places for a two week period. Durring the first week they are to abide by the rules of the household. Then week two they decide the rules and the house must then follow the way they choose to run things. Then, at the end they do a recap and the wives sit down and confront the other family.

The show runs about one hour long and each time they pick such an odd combonation. Let me give you an example of two of my favorites. Last week there was an episode where they took your typical Hollywood mom and swapped her with a country girl. They really like to pick extreme examples for this show and believe it or not it is very interesting to watch. Tonight I was a little skeptical as I was not entirely sure I wanted to commit that hour to the television when there is cleaning and sleeping to do. But, I tuned in to see what would happen. And believe it or not, this one made me cry.

Tonights show swapped a woman who was litterally a servant in her house. She totally gives a new definition to housewife. She did everything around the house and let the husband rule over her. Her only rooms of the house were the kitchen and laundry room. She dressed in her husbands old hand-me-downs, served his friends and let him have all say over house, time, and money as she even had to ask for money any time there was something to buy. Her opposite, was a lady named Bella. Bella was a "goddess" and head of a wikan church. Her life was spent in worship to her. Her husband did all the work, all the cleaning, and she spent time practicing her witch craft. There entire house was full of things from broomsticks to eye of newt (aka lizards that were dead and in a jar). They talked with fairies, talk to elves and have a small group of followers that come over all the time to serve and practice ceremonies.

Now, you can only imagine how difficult this switch would be. Now, I am not saying that this show is full of moral values, but it is very interesting to watch. After the first week, the two women come in and get to play by their own rules. This, is my favorite part to watch as I get to see what kind of changes occur. I have to let you know right now I do not condone either behavior but I do think it is a fun show to watch as I try to understand people more fully. After they spend the second week trying to impart their values on the other family things get even rougher, but they also seem to leave some great changes in place. That, is my favorite especially as each of them (husbands and wives) get a different perspective on their family and life. I know, they are still unbelievers and don't live for anything that will last, but I still love to see the positive effects the wife swap has.

Tonight, I actually teared up as the father from the wikan family began to cry. He had learned so much the last week. The wife came in and began to clean and take care of the house and cook for once which the guy had done before going to work his twelve hour days at the tattoo parlor. She took the girls, who were used to spending their days studying magic, making brooms, talking to faeries, to cheerleading class, and brought in a real tutor. She also helped the man learn what it was to be a man and a father. He began to come home from work every night to eat dinner with the family, he also began teaching his children about building things and fixing them. He broke the plate, the alter to the wikan church, the one symbol of all they had stood for. At this moment, he decided he was waisting his life and he needed a change. His response at the end was so heartwrentching as he began to cry when he told his wife it was to be all about the family and not their "church." Yep, and when he teared up I couldn't help it.

The other guy learned some lessons as well. He learned how hard it was to have to ask for money every single time you needed to buy anything and also what it was like to spend all your time cleaning and serving. The young boy learned to do laundry and some chores. When his wife returned he had learned to include her in his activities, to buy her some girlie clothes rather then his old ones, and to let her have a day to herself. In both of these houses the women also learned a lot thought I thinkk we see more of what the guys learned. Anyways it is a great show...I think and so I had to share. Besides when is the last time you got choked up watching T.V.?

Difficult returns

We arrived home safely from a weekend away up in the town of Williams. It was beautiful and an amazing weekend where I met so many great and fun people. The day we left I had decided to work on some artwork literally up to the point of departure. I decided to use a vs. from second Corinthians, the one that has been posted under the heading on my blog. The vs. is II Cor 4:16-18 So we do not loose heart. Though our outer nature is waisting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day. For this slight momentary affliction is preparing us for an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.

This has become such an awesome vs. to me because it applies in so many ways. I need to be focused on the eternal but it is so difficult when we live in the temporal. The funny thing is that nothing seems temporal. Well, I was listening to the radio as I was getting packed to go and this was the vs. that they read off. I began to be worried as I knew God had put it in my heart to make something I could see often as a reminder of it and now I was listening to it on the radio. My heart was beging to prepare for something not great to happen because out of fear and trying to protect myself from all hurt, that is what I do. Then, after an amazing weekend we finished our last message this morning with this as the subject. Now I began to worry big time. Our pastor preached about how after weekends like these to be prepared for something to happen to pull our focus back of the cross. I sat there but thought there is nothing I will return home to that could be that bad. It is funny how wrong we can be.

What I am speaking of in it's essence does not matter but my response will. It is something that I already had been dreading for quit sometime which makes it even worse on so many levels. Though, it was something I had been through over and over again and so I just cried out to God and begged Him to just help me get it this time so that I don't have to hurt this way again. I don't know if it is over yet or if it is something that will happen again. But, as tears stream down my face and my eyes burn I am sitting here and trying desperately to see God's plan in this.

God answered one of my prayers but how often does He answer the way we want? So, I am just going to fall before Him and thank Him for that. Everything in me wants to run and get away, or to hate God. The warm, salty, tears only remind me that if I don't learn what it is that God is trying to make me see, that He will bring me through it again. Maybe it is a matter of the fact He doesn't want me to run anymore. Maybe it is simply a matter of never trusting my heart to be right about anything...ever. Or, maybe he just wants me to trust Him for all things. Right now, I am struggling to breath.

I am trying to learn to run to Him rather then from Him and to remember every vs. that talks about the reasons things happen. My friends, I don't want to talk to. My family, unbelievers who will only discourage me more. My flesh, wants to put everything about me down. I hate the physical response to pain. Meanwhile I am going to try to seek God and run to His arms for every trouble, every trial, and to lead me through every situation. And hopefully, I will not back off from my relationships with people in my life as that is another tendency I have.

I want to open up my life for God to move to action elsewhere. I don't want worldly success so I want God to direct all aspects. I think I would rather take out my creativity and my feelings in art and music and poured out in words to my Savior. I want my life to change. He promises me everything if only I can give Him anything. I give my soul and everything that I am and hope for once I can give it up without holding on to even one little corner. So, we shall see what plans God has for me...and the morning is a new day. And broken, never feels sweet. But, when God needs to sever something from your life it will be painful but if it captivates you more then Him at anytime it must be done. The struggle will be to find encouragement from an all to discouraging situation. Please just read this song. That my friends is my fairwell.


Sweetly Broken-
To the cross I look, to the cross I cling
Of its suffering I do drink Of its work I do sing
For on it my Savior both bruised and crushed Showed that God is love
And God is just

Chorus: At the cross You beckon me You draw me gently to my knees, and I am Lost for words, so lost in love, I’m sweetly broken, wholly surrendered

What a priceless gift, undeserved life
Have I been given Through Christ crucified
You’ve called me out of death You’ve called me into life
And I was under Your wrath Now through the cross I’m reconciled

Chorus: In awe of the cross I must confess How wondrous Your redeeming love and How great is Your faithfulness (2x’s) Chorus: Label: Vineyard Music you with a song.
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Mornings......Dreadful things.

Have I mentioned that I don't like the a.m. hours. (Except for the ones that come after 12 p.m.) Everyday that alarm goes off and everyday it is a battle to get up. I don't usually get up in a bad mood but I am not excited about it. The only reason I get out of bed is discipline. (Or, if I know I can eat breakfast and then go right back to sleep.) I know if I do not that I will be late, or not get something finished or not get to work. So, as the alarm goes off I may hit snooze, but even that is a debate. I wish that we could all get up at about 10...that would be so nice. So, enough about mornings other then I can simply not fathom morning people. I know in Caborcca I was accused of being one. It is a lie. I just generally find it easier when not alone in the waking up process. And of course there I am not going to "work" but rather serving the Lord. So, that is actually fun for me. Getting up and singing everyone else awake while making breakfast. Oh, but I really must get ready now as the dark, cool, room is making me fall back to sleep even though I have attempted some caffeine for the day. Farewell. I hope you are all sleeping.

Too much information

I have just returned to town from an amazing mind and thought clearing weekend. It began Friday evening and is not quite over yet. I won't bore you to death with details of Starbucks and shopping Friday night, to H.I.N.T.S. at church on Saturday morning and now my arrival from ShowLow. So, I will just have to leave you with a few highlights. The weekend has left me with an amazing new bed set (courtesy of the Poosch's :) and a mind full of ideas for table pieces, parties, scrapbooking and decorating. Basically it was about an entire day of fantastic girl stuff. The weekend has also left me with a new outlook on God. Saturday as soon as H.I.N.T.S. was over I threw my duffel bag together, jumped in my jeans and baseball cap and traveled to ShowLow with my best friend. It had been some time since we had really spent time together and I needed some time to process some ideas I had been chewing on.
Five P.M.-we found out 1 hour before leaving my family had changed the locks to the door and I did not know how we would get in. Somehow I managed to get a hold of a guy about 20 minutes outside of ShowLow that had our key. We were going to meet him at about 9 p.m.

Eight forty five P.M. -We arrive at extremely sketchy gas station called Spears Market. I am a bit freaked because the place is dark except for one light outside. The parking lot is dirt and there are two pumps for gas. The market is fairly small and seems deserted but the truck parked off to the side makes me rather nervous. I was totally wishing we had a guy in the car but instead I relied on God. Then I had to call Charlie as we had just driven about three hours and he was not answering his phone so we though we would have to stay in a hotel for the evening.

Nine five P.M.-Charlie answers and finally is on his way to meet us as I am now extremely uncomfortable in my present surroundings. (In fact when I am nervous in dark scary places I do not put my car in park in case I have to drive quickly away from something though my foot remains on the breaks and I change my direction every couple minutes)

Nine fifteen P.M.-Charlie arrives with my keys in a dirty white pick-up smoking a cigarette next to the gas pump. (This seems safe.) He hands me the five new keys to our new door and then proceeds to tell me that we probably have a rat in the house and so there is bait out but he found one drowned in a bucket. Right about now the sign lit up before me displaying a hotel with a indoor jacuzzi is looking pretty good but to save money we trudge on to our little house.

Nine thirty five P.M.- We arrive at the house and excitedly find the water turned on. This is helpful as I don't particularly enjoy trudging through trees alone in the dark to find the turn on. Next Mandy helps me grab some wood from the woodpile for a fire as the heat is not on and it is about 5o degrees. It is dark and so I am a bit nervous but we take two logs from the top and enter the house.

Ten thirty five-I have finally managed a fire using a burn log and some newspaper. (I am a girl what do you expect. Oh, and now I have some particularly attractive black soot marks all over my arms and hands and jeans) Now I sit until the flames have died and then to bed.

Sevenish A.M.- My "best friend" just happens to be a morning person and can not fathom that some of us our not. She bothers me until I finally get up though I am not happy about it.

Eight thirty A.M.-I am not happy but am ready to go. We jump in the car and head to the only Starbucks in Pinetop. (it is non-corporate by the way) N

Nine A.M. -We drive and I decide to take this road and travel all over through cool woodsy areas. I then stumble upon a lake and a rather cool path. We decide to park, put on our tennis shoes and then go for a nice walk/hike. So pretty.

Ten forty five A.M.-We go dollar store hopping until our favorite restaurant, El Rancho, opens. After lunch the clouds have rolled in and though I would really like to find something to go off roading in the storm will not permit it.

Twelve thirty P.M. -Still no chance for boating, fishing, or off roading we decided on a nap. The windows opened the rain begins. It rained for the entire night. In fact it was still pouring that evening.

Four thirty P.M.-We are up from the nap and off to this really cool restaurant that overlooks a very small lake. We stay there and drink coffee in front of the fire till 6:30

Seven P.M. - Off to purchase a book for the duration of the evening. I purchase the latest Harry Potter. Then we arrive back at the house and it is pouring. I was wondering how I was going to get the wood in the house dry. Funny how God even provides the tiny details. A plastic black bag was located on top of the pile of burn logs. So outside I went. It was really dark and I suddenly became nervous about the log pile so I went inside to get a flashlight. I turned it on to the pile also to discover God had also provided a very large wolf spider as well as webbs everywhere. I froze unable to move. Finally I snuck closer and was able to get one or two small pieces of wood before Mandy came out and helped me with two more.

Seven thirty P.M- The fire was roaring and I was set for the night. I spent some moments in prayer with the Lord and then planted my self in front of the fire until I had read through about 160 pages. Then to bed.

We spent much of today traveling to Christopher Creek and swinging by Saguaro Lake. It was so beautiful and now tonight, we are off to dancing. What a perfect weekend. However the amount we traveled this weekend also reminded me of one extremely unhandy problem. This is the part where you will really get too much information. I just have to tell you how problematic it is for girls to have to go to the bathroom. Guys, I have never been jealous of anything except sometimes your ability to control your emotions. However, it is very difficult to always have to be searching for a bathroom because it is not so easy to squat in the middle of the woods while it is cold and rainy. And let me just tell you there is something scary about most outhouses...sometimes I prefer the cacti to the inside of those. They are often secluded, can be very dark, full of spiders, smelly and not to mention a million other things. I am afraid to touch anything in them including the toilet. How often do you have to mummify the toilet seat? Oh, goodness what an interesting problem. Oh, and in one particular bathroom at Woodlake there were no doors on the stalls. This may not be new for guys but think of how potentially awkward it is when you are a female, there are two stalls, and at any moment someone could walk in and see you. Yep, it is great being a girl.

Seriously...

1. Some of us will always be night people-that is why Starbucks stays in business.
2. People are crazed and dangerous when there is coffee involved. In fact even during road construction they will take out barricades, speed over parking spots and generally circle like vultures until they find the entrance. It is no wonder that the Starbucks symbol is a Siren.
3. Straightening shampoo has a very odd effect on curly hair...especially when you never actually straighten it.
4. Old people are much smarter then you may think. I ordered a cake for my personal banker at work from a lady who was probably in her late 70's. Other then the fact that she had to ask me a couple times what color I wanted the frosting she did it correctly. I then had to pick the cake up the next morning only to find out that the frosting color had changed from pink to blue because someone must have assumed Chris was a boy and that she did it wrong.
5. Ferrets when lost and then found (this is not a spiritual term) are liked crazed animals. One of mine seems to get lost several times a year and when I do find her she acts crazy, and drunk.
6. Pale is the new tan! OK so it is not really but I am still hopeful.
7. Just because your the Spirit champ does not mean you have spirit. (Also not a spiritual term)
8. Blond dye does not make you a blond though it does dry out your hair and may cause some loss of brain cells.
9. Corporate credit cards are fun especially when you are allowed to shop without spending money that is yours.
10. Your sheets don't have to match anything in your room such as your curtains, blanket, etc...(well maybe it does but mine don't)
11. Dancing is a sport. (That is not a joke so don't smile)
12. Girls are like roller coasters...OK so maybe not but it often feels like it. But then again that is just me relying on my feelings.
13. Apparently guys are like waffles...they are square.
14. Purses seem at times like carry on luggage though in an emergency I don't want to be left stranded with gum, lip gloss, and mascara.
15. Tattoos last longer then most relationships.
16. I can't spell. And sometimes even if I know how I prefer to spell words my way because they look better. I actually just learned blonde is spelled without an e but I don't like to spell it that way.

Songs can only describe...

"...holding my heart out but clutching it too..."
~Nicklecreek

"...faith isn't faith without fire..."
~Kristie Braselton

"...the scars remind us that the past is real..."
~Papa Roach

"...let me know that you hear me, let me know your touch, let me know that you love me and let that be enough..."
~Switchfoot

The Lost

So this may be very short but tonight my brother went to church with me. It was the second time in a year and a half that I have even seen him (the first time being Friday and only the second time in 5 years). My brother is an unbeliever and so the few times I see him I try and share with him some truth. I don't want to waist time dwelling or explaining our past but I will tell you the last time I saw him he came to church with me as well. The difference this time was the lack of a girlfriend to distract him through the entire service. So, my brother Chad went along with me to Junior high ministry as well as the main service. During the service I could tell that he was listening and he even used my Bible a bit. Then it came to worship and my heart filled with joy as he sang the words. That moment also broke my heart and my eyes began to tear up. I realized he sang words of truth , words of worship, words calling on the Lord and singing "Jesus, Lord and Savior." This broke my heart as I realized that he may never know what those words meant, he may never be saved. We spoke afterwards and there are some things he is chewing on. Now all I can do is pray and pursue. I just don't want my brother to live a life void of God and never spend eternity with Him. The lost who don't even know that they are lost. That is a sad truth that is a call to action.