I found a use for my Chemistry notebook!

Tonight I ditched church. Yes, I know I am a sinner just like everyone else but not because I ditched college group. I was just feeling really convicted about the fact I have been spending more time serving then just with God at His feet. So, I pulled up to one of my local haunts...(they are pretty much all coffee shops-aka gift from God) and realized I had only my Bible and school stuff with me. I really enjoy my Nutrition class and so put a little more value in that notepad. However, chemistry is another story completely. So, out came the yellow notepad which I was more then delighted to use for the purpose of a Bible study.

I just had one of those really sweet nights in the word though I would like to spend more time in prayer tonight just growing my relationship and dependence on God. But, I wanted to share some of what I studied as I was really, really encouraged by it. Let me take you through my thought processing first though I won't give it to you in complete detail. I love David...big time He (other then Christ) is the Biblical character I am completely in love with. I love reading through the Psalms and through books in the Bible talking about him and how he responds and talks with God. I love David's passion, compassion, brokenness, realness, love for animals, how he loves God so much, his music for God, how he dances before the Lord and just so much else. I can not wait to meet Him someday. Plus, the Bible tells us that he was a man after God's own heart. That is beautiful!

Now, whenever I am at a loss and it has been awhile I like to retrace David's life through the Bible beginning with I Samuel and often reading through Psalms at the same time. So, there I was in the less crispy though still pretty untattered section of my Bible. In the first chapter we meet Hannah, one of the two wives of Elkanah. She was his favorite but the Lord had not blessed her with any children. His other wife Peninnah of course used this against Hannah and so every year when they would go to Shiloh to worship and offer sacrifices to God Hannah would cry out to Him.

I Samuel 1:12-13
And it happened as she continued praying before the Lord, that Eli (a priest) watched her mouth. Now Hannah spoke in her heart; only her lips moved but her voice was not heard.

At this Eli accused Hannah of being drunk but listen to her response.

I Samuel 1:15
But Hannah answered and said, "No, my lord, I am a woman of sorrowful spirit. I have drunk neither wine nor intoxicating drink, but have poured out my soul before the Lord. Do not consider your maidservant a wicked woman, for out of the abundance of my complaint and grief have I spoken.

I love this picture first of pouring out our hearts before God. THis heard and compassion I so desire but in more of a diligent, faithful, with believing manner. I just love this example I guess. God, grants this but Hannah also makes a vow with Him saying that she will give her son to the Lord all the days of his life if He will allow her one. God does not always answer our prayers how we want them though He did answer hers. But, we must remember nothing is to take the place of Him and sometimes He does not give us what we want because it would. Sometimes He gives it to us anyways but then something good steals what belongs to God and we forget to give it to God and put it in His hand and care.

If you are still tracking I am almost finished. Eli has responded and when Hannah left her face was no longer sad which brought up anther good reminder. This is that when we are spending time with Him, and just the way we live our face should light up and we should be filled with joy. So, I will leave you not with my interpretation of all of these verses, but with the verses themselves and hopefully some of them will encourage you as they did me.

I Samuel 1:18
And she said (Hannah to Eli), "Let your maidservant find favor in your sight." So the woman went her way and ate, and her face was no longer sad. (after Eli said may God grant it).

Shouldn't we glow, and be full of joy? Especially after spending time with God. It made me think of how we should be in the world and how we can't spend time with God and have in not effect us.

Mat 5:14-16
"You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill can not be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.

II Cor 4:6
For it is the God who commanded light to shine out of the darkness, who has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.

Eph 1:13-14
But when anything is exposed by the light it becomes visible, for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says, "Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you."

Ps. 4:18
But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, whcih shines brighter and brighter until full day.

And last but not least I have to leave you with something really cool a guy in my lifegroup shared about a year ago. He handed each one of us a small glow in the dark star and told us to stick it wherever we would see it. I put mine in my wallet and the analogy is that if you leave the star in the dark it wont ever glow in the light but the more you expose it to the light the brighter it will shine in the dark. I loved that and still have it stuck to the inside.

Arguments

I don't like not getting along with people. In fact it makes me very sad. Even more so when it is family. Guys can make me cry like no other. I need to choose joy in all situations, to preach the gospel to myself and to draw closer to my heavenly father. (Just a reminder and more for myself) Tonight I got in an argument with my earthly father and that is very hard for me to know how to deal. In fact any time I get in an argument with him I get a bit sick to my stomach and I cannot help but cry. I know it will be OK but I just want to understand him...that seems so impossible. This blog is not for attention so please don't worry or feel sorry. I am just being real. I am very joyful...most of the time but I think sometimes people forget that life is real. Believers don't necessarily have life easier but our weight is carried by someone much stronger. I know I bring this vs. up over and over and let us not forget it is actually tattooed across my back but..
II Corinthians 12:9
.....my grace is sufficient for you for my strength is made perfect in weakness....

You should look up the rest of it. In fact if you have never read the Bible let me take this opportunity to tell you more about it. We have a great and perfect, holy God who sent His one and only Son(himself) to live a perfect life so that in his death our sins would be repayed and we would have an eternity with him if we would believe and follow him. The Bible is amazing as it is His words to us of instruction, encouragement, wisdom, truth, love and so much more. This is what I cling to and God constantly has to remind me I am weak as I try so hard to be strong. And when I want most to run into the arms of a guy, my protector, I have only to run to HIM. I pray that this serves as a reminder of what life is about and how it is not perfect. I know that it can only last a lifetime and I thank God for making it actually really easy...even thought it does not always appear as such.

Be joyful

I Peter 1:6-9
In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith-more precious then gold that perishes though it is tested by fire- may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

I love this because so often we run to vs. on trials and try to "work" through the situation rather then running to them to remind us of the treasure we have and command called joy. This is such a beautiful vs. that is telling us our faith is worth more then gold and it does get tested so that it will result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Christ. I want that response and now would be good. I want to see and know the inexpressible joy more and more (that joy being Christ). I love this as our responses to trials might be displayed simply as "I am being refined" or "I am in a painful place" rather then causing me at this moment to CHOOSE to respond in joy. Sometimes we can't find it or we don't know how or we might like to wallow in our selfish sorrow. We all have felt it, the pain that draws us away and then nearer to God.

I hope I never have to go through what Job did in order for my faith to be tested, for me to really see and rely on God and not the false securities the world holds before me. I want my life to result in joy. In a love song and to remember God's Spirit lives within me. I wish I always acted as such rather then disregarding what I know is right and choosing sin. Won't heaven be so great? A time where we will no longer struggle with the battles of sin. A time where we will finally know completion in the presence of our beautiful God and savior, our KING! There is something my pastor said once that I wrote on a card and it is extremely encouraging to me. "God did not tell you the day or the hour so that you would live like it was today."

Too bad my life falls short of that. Too bad sin is apparent. But, then I remember...
..."my grace is sufficient for you for my strength is made perfect in weakness..." (II Corinthians 12:9)