Laundry

Some of you live a very organized and compartmental life. Some of us definitely do not. I was chatting with a customer in the lobby today and she sounded much like myself in regards to our organizational problems. Not only are we female so our minds run in all directions at any given moment and on any subject, but the both of us have very much our own organizing systems. In fact, she told me that her sister was so clean and organized she had a basket in the doorway organizing thing that was just for her.

So all this discussion led us to chatting and then I think I realized how funny we might seem to others. My room, though very much organized to me is perhaps not really under the category of organized. I really love things to be clean but sometimes my lack of official organizing and my ability to get overwhelmed when things don't seem organized can cause me some difficulty in this. Let me give you one example. It takes me forever to get laundry completed or so it seems because I have a very specific way that I do it. It usually does not get done often as I can't stand doing loads in between because I want it all done a certain way and to ensure that process must spend time at home with it. All of my laundry gets sorted first by color. Now from what I hear normal people just sort colors and then whites. I am not going to claim normalcy here but I will claim consistency.

I literally sort by color shades. Pinks and reds go in one section along with a certain tone of brown. Beige and yellow shades in another pile. Blues and some greens are allowed to be in pile three. Then of course there are blacks and then the pile of whites. I try to fit everything in these 5 sections. Then depending on the size of the section I may also sort out by textures and dark or lighter shades. For instance, blue shirts I usually wash together but blue jeans only get washed with other jeans. Or pink t-shirts may not be washed with pink work shirts that are lacy or of nicer fabrics. Then, after each load is finished it is time to pull it out of the dryer before it even has time to wrinkle as I dislike ironing more then you know. In fact I have ironed one thing in the last five years and it was a pattern I was ironing on a shirt.

Next is the putting away process. If I am being very lazy it will get draped across my desk as folding can create wrinkles. Then when it is time to put it away I have a very specific way to do that as well. Most people probably put things in their closet by the item it is. You know-shirts all together and then pants or some order like this. All the things I hang up are organized and my non-hang-up items go in specific places with no organization at all. So, when I hang things up they go from dresses in the back to jackets at the other end with all the rest in between (tank tops, skirts, pants, shirts, jackets, coats). But from this point I also organize by color and type. Like my shirts for instance. There are many types of shirts and many different colors. I tried organizing about a month ago just by color and not by type but I hated it and went back to my old system. So shirts get organized first by style; t-shirts, stretch t-shirts, babydoll, non-cotton, short-sleeve collared, and then collared. Then they are sorted by color. So I may have only one pink baby doll shirt but if I have a red it may be near the red. You would never find a pink by a green by a black by another green as that would be utter closet chaos.

So all in all you may now be thinking I am crazy or that I am actually very organized. In reality that is so not the truth though I try desperately. Me and my customer actually had a very funny chat about that problem this morning. I joked about needing a husband someday who has a great sense of focus, direction, and organization (not to mention about a thousand other qualities I don't have. )We both have a very bad habit of leaving stuff in random places (which are not random to us) around the house or in other peoples houses. I am famous for having something of mine at each of my friends houses and perhaps not realizing it till I am looking for it later. Also, when I have not been off for a week or spend time cleaning you can follow my circle. It's not necessarily a messy trail, but just some strategically located items located around the house. So when I leave I must go through this trail to make sure not only that I am fully dressed for public (that is another story as I once made it out of the house one morning forgetting I had only a tank top and flip-flops on which is not too strange except when your on your way to work....at a bank. I had forgotten my make-up and my jacket and nylons and had to run back inside ) but also that I have hit all the important spots. So in conclusion I will just say we had a great conversation in which we could not only relate but also laugh over.

Still learning...far from knowing.

Preface: If you have not read my last blog I would much rather you read that one because this one will be about the opposite sex....again.

I was reading through the Bible the other day and ran across a vs. that talks about patience. However, there was an important part that I had never noticed before. It was talking about having PATIENCE WITH JOY. That is interesting I thought as I so often work on patience but in regards to certain subjects do not always have it with joy. Not to say I do not live my life with joy because that would be untrue but I do not wake up every day and praise God for yet another day of singleness. (Though really I should as marriage is not for my sake and will only serve to serve someone else before myself and for God to further refine me.)

Let me just begin by telling you some great things I am learning and then I will vent as that seems like a smarter way of telling stories and since most of you won't want to read it anyways it will give you the important stuff first. God has been yet again wearing me down to the point I am simply tired and exhausted. Liking anyone for any period of time can make someone very tired. Especially when there is little to no guarantee that the person you like is interested in any person and that includes you. So, I took some of this frustration and others and chatted late one evening a few weeks ago with Lynne. She reminded me how important that it is for me to focus on Christ and made it a bit more practical. I literally sobbed as I sat there and "threw up" some situations to her. It can be so difficult and so frustrating to try and pursue Christ with all you have, when people (guys ) can be a distraction. I just confessed how tired I was of all of them. The one I like the ones I don't as there is too much thinking and effort involved and it can grind a person down.

Sometimes it is just admiring or noticing a guy that you like. Just like guys have to struggle daily with purity and thinking things they shouldn't girls struggle daily with how they think of guys. It is a different manner but just as guys are so prone to think of sex girls are so prone to think of guys and it is so hard to take that captive and focus on the Lord. I can not tell you how much pain and heart-ache this can bring about especially as you don't think talking about guys you like is a sin. Really though it may not entirely be your focus but if it occupies your mind it can be a sin. Especially if there is nothing between you at all. Even if there is if the time is not right and they do not belong to you or you spend too much time letting your thoughts wonder you are allowing yourself to push God aside and can make a person your idle. Let me tell you just about every girl I know likes some guy who is completely clueless to it. And as a girl we don' t do anything and even if we did I am not sure what it would be. If a guy does not pursue you just try to move on and hope that one of the ones you like will in return notice you. So, after a tear filled evening I realized how much I don't think of the situation like that and fail to take my thoughts captive.

Just like every other girl it seems I am completely confused by how guys think. I don't know why the ones you would never like often seem to like you. I can not fathom how when I wear a ring on my wedding finger I still get guys at the bank who ask me out and one who is very consistent and trys a new angle every Friday. I can not begin to pretend I know what you do when you like a guy and your confused. What on earth is O.K.? Nicole actually joked about this with me a couple weeks ago as I finally updated her on my "boy life." I had not mentioned it since summer camp and then when I told her she gave me three or four options.

1. Talk to him and tell him
2. Talk to Lynne and tell her-or at least ask her opinion and update her
3. Let go of him and assume he does not like you
4. Propose

Funny though the only option I thought of as real was number 2 and I have already told you about that one. Then of course there is number 5. which I will add. Do your best not to like anyone and just assume if they have not pursued that they do not like you. I don't know. She then asked Justin his opinion with out giving him any names or details and he said do not tell him because when Nicole told him it was awkward. I agreed with him and decided to work desperately on 5. (Then of course there is always spending some serious time with Jesus so He becomes the only guy in my life)

I actually read a book Lynne had bought for the girls. I finished it the same day I read it as did Amy and not because it was entirely full of new information, but because ever since the fall of man ( I am guessing here) but we have struggled to understand the opposite sex. The book was called "What every young woman needs to know." I think...and it was good though there were not any seriously "enlightening" moments. Well, maybe one. The fact women would rather feel loved and men respected. A funny opposite which I will not bother to go into great detail about. Basically there is little else to conclude or tell. I am desperately seeking God's wisdom and His joy in patience as that may be the only thing He is trying to teach me (though I am sure there are so many others) I want to see what He is trying to show me and teach me. Patience with joy, patience with joy....

Moved to Action

I have just spent about the last hour or so "unpacking" this weekends Food for the Hungry Conference. It is amazing how God can use one comment, one situation, one weekend to shift your focus an entirely different direction. For some reason God wanted me there this weekend because I thought about bailing out a couple times and it turned out something kept me there. That is why I want to share it with you because God has dual purposes for what He teaches us and I want to give others an insight into the weekend. I can not possibly pretend to be able to explain everything to you but I do want to give you some of the highlights with a brief thought or explanation.

Bill Clark

• Are we too pre-occupied with life?

Talk about something to think about. I was sitting in the pew that night reflecting even beforehand about sacrifice and what I would be willing to give up. It is one thing to say it and entirely different to act upon it. As he began this session I sat with an EDU-Go pamphlet (talking about a semester of study in Africa, which I seriously considered for a few minutes)sitting on my lap. Wondering if I would ever have what it takes to give it all up for God's glory-everything from my job, my time, my money and go in faith.

• "Your life would never be the same if..."

What would you do for the Lord? Would you do something so radical that it would change your life or will we just stay comfortable? I think about this a lot before I jump into anything and then usually I don't jump. I might tip-toe around a bit but it is like the scene with Jesus walking on water. Would I have stepped out of the boat to follow or would I have held on to the edge and touched the water first with one foot and then the other fearing to trust?

• What do you invest your life in?

Yes, I give some of my time and some of my money to the Lord. But, what do I invest my LIFE in? What do I live for? Often myself. I pursue my desires, my needs, my career, the relationships I desire...Do I live that my name might be known or do I live that His name might be known?

• Fears (1 of 3 given) - That getting involved might have some type of sacrifice.

What would life be if there was not a sacrifice involved. It would mean the commitment level was luke-warm and mediocre. Everything we TRULY invest in will take sacrifice. So maybe that is why people never truly let go in life because we are afraid of sacrifice. I know I think hard before I invest in another ministry, another relationship, giving my money to another cause. What I need to consider here is when I don't decide to invest is it based off the fact that the availability is there but the selfishness and fear decides otherwise?

Scottie Smith

• Profitable worship-is pre-occupied with satisfying the worship consumer
• Prophet-able worship- is consumed with God's glory...by feeding the hungry, working for justice, and pushing back the effects of the fall...offering the "mercy songs" that really are "music in God's ears."
• The Bible calls us to costly living not more liturgy.

How true is this? We know we are called to gather together on a regular basis but the Bible calls us to live in such a way that we pick up our cross daily and follow Christ. Wow! How often do we hide in churches and service when those things are easier then living costly. Living costly is expensive and we live cheap. We are far too easily pleased as I believe Piper may have said.

• "Go preach the gospel and do it in words if you must." -St. Francis of Assissi

Again what a conviction. Use words and proclaim the gospel but don't even hide behind words. Live in words and deed for we spend less time talking and more time "act"ing in the day. It's like when God tells us He desires obedience and not sacrifice. Yes, He wants our lives and everything in them and that is a sacrifice but sacrifice of itself gains nothing. If you fast for the sake of sacrifice what have you gained? If you give to someone in need yet still allow yourself food and other luxuries have you not been obedient as well as sacrificed?

• Care for the orphan and the widow for this is music to my ears.

How is it that we worship? It is not just in song for worship is our life, our song.

• People come to the Lord to get something from Him rather then to give to Him.
• In Eden there was no spot set aside for worship because everything they did was worship.

Jena

Students, Water, and Aids

• a beginning
• Bringing clean water helps. Clean water is better for the immune system. If water is provided it brings time, community and helps with health. Most of the sources of water are far away and so it takes much time from the children and mom's as they must travel to carry buckets of water everyday from unclean sources. Their immune systems are very weak and poor water does not help.
• The mission: to build wells and help with medical efforts in villages in Africa
• $1 will provide water for an African for a year
• http://www.bloodwatermission.com/
• "Our knowledge now demands our action." -Jars of Clay
• "Bloodwater mission rescues people in Africa from dirty water and in America it rescues us from trivia and boredom." -Jena quoting someone else

After spending an hour and a half in the Blood:Water Mission discussion my mind was running with ideas that I am going to help implement in the World Ministries at our church. That is still to follow as there is much more to do before they are concrete and there are several more discussions to have with Mike as well as Lynne J. However, I do have to tell you it stirred me up to move to action and left my mind churning with ideas for about an hour. I am very excited about what is to come and though can not mention it yet know that we can accomplish something with God's help.

Scottie Smith (later on)

Revelation 21:1-5

And I saw a new heaven and a new earth: for the first heaven and the first earth were passed away; and there was no more sea. And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a great voice out of heaven saying, Behold, the tabernacle of God [is] with men, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them, [and be] their God.
And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.
And he that sat upon the throne said, Behold, I make all things new. And he said unto me, Write: for these words are true and faithful.

• How do we find ourselves in that story?
• When God tells us to show up what does that mean?
• The tear wiping hand of God reaches into our lives "so that" it may extend to our neighbors and the nations.
• What parts of your story still need to be accessed by the Father of mercies and the God of all comforts?
• God will use your betrayals, abuse, the evil perpetrated against you, and your weakness as one of the primary conduits of His tear wiping hand.
• DON'T WAIST YOUR SORROWS.

There was so much more packed into a span of roughly 28 hours but I hope there is something you can take from this even if you were not there. I know I am excited and changed in thinking- hopefully that will lead me to stronger actions which will further the change in thought. I can not leave out the lyrics of Derek Webb as him and Sandra his wife (also an amazing singer/songwriter) lead the worship for the weekend.

Rich Young Ruler
(vs. 1) poverty is so hard to seewhen it’s only on your tv and twenty miles across townwhere we’re all living so good that we moved out of Jesus’ neighborhoodwhere he’s hungry and not feeling so goodfrom going through our trashhe says, more than just your cash and coini want your time, i want your voicei want the things you just can’t give me

(vs. 2) so what must we do here in the west we want to follow youwe speak the language and we keep all the ruleseven a few we made upcome on and follow mebut sell your house, sell your suvsell your stocks, sell your securityand give it to the poorwhat is this, hey what’s the deali don’t sleep around and i don’t steali want the things you just can’t give me

(bridge) because what you do to the least of thesemy brother’s, you have done it to me because i want the things you just can’t give me

Strange yet usual things.

Do you ever find yourself talking to things? You know like telling the vacume cleaner to stop trying to eat the rug. Or when you tell the carpet you do no like it you would much rather it be wood. How about talking to yourself? Do you ever talk to yourself while listening to an Ipod and forget that others can hear what your saying? Or better yet do you ever put human thoughts and emotions to describe animals? I do all of the above and needless to say I can tend to come off a bit strange at times. But then really, don't we all?

So what are we really doing when we are talking to inanimate objects? First, we might be complaining which is bad. (Though usually funny in this case) Second, we may just be getting our aggravation out on something that can not possibly hear it, take offense to it, or change itself. What if those "things" hurt us then how do we respond? I remember one time I ran into a wall and decided "it" was definatly responsible for breaking my hand. It could not have possibly been the fact I was playing hide-n-seek through the house and running. What if your mad at "them" how do you take out your anger? Last weekend I had a very long discussion with the vacume as it kept trying to eat the bathroom rugs. I finally had to pull them appart and place them in different rooms since they were unable to get along. So, the other thing I thought of was how we blame inanimate objects for our own mistakes. So the next time you find yourself having a long discussion with a lightbulb hoping you can convince it to either work or get itself out of the light socket it is in remember you are really only trying to comfort yourself in the situation. I think it is that believe that lies in each one of us. You know the one that hope comes from. The one that you have when your watching the exact same movie over and over and somehow you hope a part of it will be different this time then it was the last 150 or so times and then you find out is it the same and you can not handle it so you leave the room. (pretty sure that is a run-on sentance but I don't care to change it)

Then of course comes the obvious talking to yourself. I know this is probably very funny for those who don't and somewhat amusing for those who do. I often get caught talking to myself. Sometimes I am actually just singing quietly to myself and if I am not and someone hears me then I pretend I am singing to myself. I realized it is meerly a thinking of thoughts out loud but some of us very auidble people think out loud and sometimes we don't realize why. If there is something very upsetting, some moment or conversation I am extremely happy about, or just things I am working through I can be found re-living the moments outloud. Not loudly of course but it comes out in mumbles. Oh, and sometimes it gets you in some very awkward and embarrasing situations. I remember one time re-living a conversation with a guy I liked while making drinks on the bar at Starbucks. I was in my zone and forgot about the existance of the other four or five workers arround me. Let me tell you by the color in my cheeks shortly after they heard what I said that I soon remembered where I was. I also find I do this a ton when I am in my car listending to music. I think there is something about listening to music that calms my thinking down but then I realize I am laughing about something that embarrased me earlier, re-living the moment, blushing thinking through it, and litterally remembering the conversation and actions out loud. One day this might be considered crazy but I think it is as sign of intelligence. (or at least that is my argument) It is just part of some ability to multitask, pull scenes from your mind and actually bring the emotions of that situation back.

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PART TWO

The last thing I thought fit well here is the way I respond to animals. I currently have four that are mine and one that used to me. Two cats, two ferrets, and my parrot. I know in psycology they tell you never to do this but I always explaing my animals actions as if they were people. For instance, I choose favorites. I have one ferret (Bear) I love much more then the other (Sketch). Yet my older ferret Sketch has a thing for bananas and has my entire family trained to give her one when she stands up on her back legs and puts her nose in the air. Bear really likes fishy crackers but usually we don't have any for her. I love that from the moment she hears me come home I hear her thumping down the stars to say hello. Bear then rolls on her back so I can pet her and rub her tummy. There are also very many funny moments with her. First off she is extremely playful which is why I think she is my favorite. When I wake up in the morning she is often sleeping on the other side of my pillow. She hears the alarm go off, sees the light come on and gives me the look. Turn that light off! (actually she is pretty good this is more the response of my cat Tomi) Then as I go and get ready she follows me all over. Soon after she is a bit more awake it is playtime and she will run and play hide-n-seek with me or some other little game. Then I go to the door to leave and she pouts and waits there till my car drives away.

Then of course there is my bird, Agape. She can be extremely cranky and tempermental though is also super sweet. She can not stand it if I am in the house and she can not be on my shoulder. I can be such a brat to her but I can not stand it when she decides not to go to the bathroom in her cage but rather on my shoulder. Yuck! Plus if she is in a bad mood there is no way she is coming out as her usually sweet kisses become a fat lip for me. She likes very few guys and generally dislikes all girls. She hates it when she thinks I am sleeping or ignoring her, must have a bite or drink of everthing that I have, and is scared to death of hats. She can be very sweet but also very irritating as well. I can't help but think she is adorable when she barks, laughs, whistles, and gives kisses. She will snuggle up really close to my cheek when she is very content and happy.

Then there is Tomi, my cat. She is my favorite cat I have ever had! Usually she comes in at night with me and leaves with me in the morning. She plays mostly outside but if I stay home all day she hangs out inside. She likes to follow me arround and gets very upset if I sit in the computer room or in the living room. She will literally sit on my stairs and yell ( it is not a meow but some crazy cat sound) until I come upstairs in my room to pet her. This can become a rather funny conversation between us as I try and mimic her yelling while I am busy doing other things. Then, once I do go upstairs she will lounge on my bed and stretch out in front of the air as if she could not do it alone. Then when I go to bed she will curl up right next to me unless she wants me to pet her. Then she will lay her head in my hand. If I respond she begins to purr but also has overactive scent glands. Cats when they are happy have a gland in the corners of their mouth so they rub their scent on what "belongs" to them or what they really love. Well, I love her but those glands don't work quit right and she begins to drool. Good thing I really like that cat or she would be outside again. It's so cute because she will finally lay down and she either likes to lay her head back in my hand, or will put her paw on my face, or will grab my hand with her paws and finally go to sleep.

It is funny how we act and even funnier how we bring animals into. Let me just tell you I think some of this is how I crack myself up so much. I am really one of the funniest people I know as I can often make myself laught out loud. That my friends is an whole other issue. ;)

Signatures.

Do you ever spend time thinking about other cultures and how they work? I have had little to no time engulfed in any culture other then American and don't often realize the differences. I am extremely interested in them and the different ways that they do things. At work I tend to see a bit of a range since I work at the bank and people from all over the world use banks.

My first observation is that I can not even pretend to speak a different language though I am very compassionate to those who don't speak my language. I do my best to be very friendly as spending only a week at time in Mexico I can only get a glimpse at how frustrating language barriers can be. Secondly I realize that there are differences in how we write our language. I don't really understand it entirely but I wonder about the signatures in other cultures. People who have been here for quite sometime usually understand that to endorse a check you write your signature (aka often sloppy name in something that can appear as cursive, scribbles and many other forms of signing). If you have not been here for long or just do not understand you will often simply print your name on the line. I see this a lot in the Hispanics that I talk with daily. How do I say "will you please write your name in cursive on the line"? That would seem stupid on my part.

Then I began to wonder about how other cultures write. Do they actually have many ways to write their language like we do? I know grammatically speaking our language can be very difficult for other cultures as apparently we make little sense sometimes. And what about some of the phrases we use? I realize how funny basic expressions are when trying to explain what I just said or asked to the person standing in front of me. So do they have cursive, and shorthand, and calligraphy and the hundreds of scripts it seems we have to write with?

It also made me think about family set-ups and that led me to a discussion with a co-worker. She is from the middle east and often sounds silly trying to offer a customer a credit card as she understands what we say but breaks it down in a much different way when offering it to customers. I just laugh with her but there is so much to try and understand. She is Muslim and so is her family and so I try to find out more about her when time allows. She is married to a man that was arranged by her family. I know that things are different where she lives but I always tease her and tell her I would much rather be single then ever have my real family choose anyone for me. She is also extremely quiet...not anything like me and so I asked her if that was expected of women in her culture or if that was just her. She smiled and said it was just her. I tease her now because she says she is that way at home as well and I never seem to know she is at work. She is so darn quiet she sneaks up and frightens us without meaning to. She told me often her husband does not know she is home. (that will never be one of my problems : )

I guess I am just getting glimpses to other cultures and it is actually very cool. I would much rather learn it this way then through a class. I guess it makes my love for people just that much deeper. I am excited to finally be at a place where I am starting to notice these things and I will see what happens. Now I just hope I can find more time to share at work. God can use anyone at anytime and even if I can't flat out lay out the gospel I hope He is evident in my life and actions. I want to find ways to bring Him up and so still I am still seeking to deepen these relationships. That is all for my late night ponderings tonight.