Many of us believe in the power of prayer and the words uttered before the Lord. I love knowing how often and how easy it is to approach is throne and yet sometimes that becomes something I take great advantage of. How often do I really pray? How often do I feel the true weight of sin and confess it? How often do I run flippantly to the throne without first acknowledging God for who He is and what He sent His Son to live and to die for?
I can quickly tell a shift in my attitude when I have not been in the word or prayer for a couple, a few, or even a longer amount of days. My attitude becomes snotty, my frustration is short, my responses become much quicker and of a more selfish nature. I know how important prayer is and that communion time I just don't always take it. I think about other things too much, and suddenly something else begins to captivate me more then my Savior. I realize how stupid this is and how easily it is for us to get there as the entire world is full of distractions demanding our attentions.
There have been many times in life I have been extremely convicted on not spending enough time in prayer. On my mission trips it seems so easy and when I make a set time and place for it. It is when I am lacking this that it becomes so difficult. Then I first can forget to pray for things I said that I would pray for, I forget to ask God first for His guidance in situations, and I forget to converse with my loving Father. How often would I forget to talk with someone that I saw everyday here on earth? Someone who was with me always and everywhere and through everything? For those of you who know me that would never happen as my words are not few and far between. I just wish it was not so easy to do with God.
When I loose contact even for a couple days with people I care about here it upsets me quit a bit. I long to see them or sit and talk with them and hear and tell and just spend time with them. How much more do I need that with the Lord and how often I fail. So, that will be my plan for the next couple weeks as there have been some heavy convictions as of late. I don't want to ignore those convictions and I know when I follow Him it changes things entirely. So, always a work in progress....
Any prayer request? I had thought of this before as I used to send out a text on Friday nights asking for prayer request. Now one of my friends keeps it up but she does it on Sunday nights.
Monday, August 28, 2006
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Judgement or grace?
Lately, God has been teaching me a lot about how situations appear. I am usually the first to argue a different side to a perspective in order to give someone the benefit of the doubt. I usually find that many times the things I say or the things I write come off completely different then I mean for them two and so having my self been misjudged quit often I try very hard to figure out who someone really is. What about my own misconceived perceptions? I am human and am not void of preconceived notions that are entirely wrong and create a judgement of someone without giving them the voice to explain or finding out the truth behind the words.
There have been more then a few people in the last week that I have realized some of my own quick judgments about. We all seem to either know or be someone who is very quickly labled. Something they say sounds like...., they have a history of so they will always go back to...., they are boy/girl crazy, they are too much like...., you know what fills in the blanks. But what then of grace? What of the way that Christ tells us to love each other and encourage one another, to stir one another to love in good deeds?
We are called to give grace to those undeserving as we too are undeserving and to not forget that God has a purpose for each one of us in the body. We need to encourage each other and build each other up and put our hope and trust that Christ will finish the work in each one of us. Some of us are not from believing families and are always going to have an unchurchy past, some of us are from church families but are still human as well. Some people just need to be given a chance....over and over and over again as the Holy Spirit is working through us. We need to believe others can change rather then assume they will always fall in a life given completely over to sin.
I have been on the side where it felt like I kept ending up in the same spot, the same confort zone over and over again. It was sad because I did love God and still do and tried so hard to pursue him. People in my life were very quick to judge my mistakes and always assume I was going to end up back there again. Everytime I said something they did not understand I was left trying to defend myself again. Leadership and close friends always seem to jump to the wrong conclusion quickly. At some point, or many points I would give up for my past was easier then always dealing with people in my life who always questioned my motives and always assumend the worse. There is power in the body even if it is a negative power. We need to remember the effect we have on someone especially when all they get is judgement from us. Let us remember we are called to help someone pursue Christ and throw the rest away. That does not mean it is our job to beat them up everytime that they make a mistake.
So even toward people in my life now I am going to pursue those who may seem like they are struggling. I am so encouraged to see people, give them a chance and leave it to God to do the rest. It is not my job to perfect them nor yours but Christ's. I am thankful that He reminded me that someone once gave me a chance and she believed that I would do better. There was not a judgement and expectation that I would fall, but rather the expectation that I would pursue God and that I could live a life for Him. I too needed this reminder but it has renewed my love for people that were once like me, or those who are nothing like me....basically the need to show grace and love.
There have been more then a few people in the last week that I have realized some of my own quick judgments about. We all seem to either know or be someone who is very quickly labled. Something they say sounds like...., they have a history of so they will always go back to...., they are boy/girl crazy, they are too much like...., you know what fills in the blanks. But what then of grace? What of the way that Christ tells us to love each other and encourage one another, to stir one another to love in good deeds?
We are called to give grace to those undeserving as we too are undeserving and to not forget that God has a purpose for each one of us in the body. We need to encourage each other and build each other up and put our hope and trust that Christ will finish the work in each one of us. Some of us are not from believing families and are always going to have an unchurchy past, some of us are from church families but are still human as well. Some people just need to be given a chance....over and over and over again as the Holy Spirit is working through us. We need to believe others can change rather then assume they will always fall in a life given completely over to sin.
I have been on the side where it felt like I kept ending up in the same spot, the same confort zone over and over again. It was sad because I did love God and still do and tried so hard to pursue him. People in my life were very quick to judge my mistakes and always assume I was going to end up back there again. Everytime I said something they did not understand I was left trying to defend myself again. Leadership and close friends always seem to jump to the wrong conclusion quickly. At some point, or many points I would give up for my past was easier then always dealing with people in my life who always questioned my motives and always assumend the worse. There is power in the body even if it is a negative power. We need to remember the effect we have on someone especially when all they get is judgement from us. Let us remember we are called to help someone pursue Christ and throw the rest away. That does not mean it is our job to beat them up everytime that they make a mistake.
So even toward people in my life now I am going to pursue those who may seem like they are struggling. I am so encouraged to see people, give them a chance and leave it to God to do the rest. It is not my job to perfect them nor yours but Christ's. I am thankful that He reminded me that someone once gave me a chance and she believed that I would do better. There was not a judgement and expectation that I would fall, but rather the expectation that I would pursue God and that I could live a life for Him. I too needed this reminder but it has renewed my love for people that were once like me, or those who are nothing like me....basically the need to show grace and love.
Monday, August 14, 2006
I want to cast a light not a shadow.
Conviction is present as always so that God may keep us where we belong. It is a manner that pride fights against and the response is of great importance. I have been thinking lately about how I am perceived in all situations as I can tell a difference in my manner and attitude when I spend even a day ignoring God. I know how important prayer is and how much the word affects our lives as well as allows God to speak to us. Why then can I allow myself so much time out of it?
I had a rather difficult conversation last week during lunch with one of the unbelievers at work I was trying to share with. She smarted off a statement saying "your one of the most judgmental people I have ever met". Of course I had to respond but it was not out of anger, rather hurt. She stated that because of what I look for in guys and said that is what makes me so judgmental toward others. She wanted to know where I get off and has basically made fun of me every comment I have made. This was difficult to swallow and my response was simply I am not judging them and I think nothing less of them but that doesn't mean I have to date them. She was just angry at the fact that I refuse to give in to what she thinks and everything the world was telling me. I was sad and hurt because I don't want to come off that way but I am unwilling to change either.
I called a friend during lunch and was pointed back to scripture. I knew it and but I was thankful to hear it. Then, the next morning during my quiet time I stumbled upon the price of being a believer. The vs. that talk about giving everything up for God and that there will be a price and it should be very costly. This made me feel so much better but also was hard to take in. I so often forget as my life can at times be too easy. I can forget to share as it is increasingly difficult where I am at, I can forget to love, to pray, to read and to put Him first. That is when my life begins to block the light and to cast a shadow.
I plan on trying to pray more, harder, longer and more purposeful. God may never take everything from my life but I know that He wants me to be at a place that at any moment He could take it all away and I would still love Him just as much. I want to be a reflection of Him, not something that hides Him. That, is a constant battle with self, time, and the world.
Thank you Father for your Spirit that dwells in us. I ask that it would be the light and strength that guides me. You tell us to ask, may I never be so prideful that I forget that. May I always be willing to give up even that which you have caused me to wait and be patient for. May my deepest longings be always for you and my trust overflow. I pray you would drive my prayer and own my heart...each and every beat you allow, every breath that flows through my lungs. May I be a light, not a shadow.
I had a rather difficult conversation last week during lunch with one of the unbelievers at work I was trying to share with. She smarted off a statement saying "your one of the most judgmental people I have ever met". Of course I had to respond but it was not out of anger, rather hurt. She stated that because of what I look for in guys and said that is what makes me so judgmental toward others. She wanted to know where I get off and has basically made fun of me every comment I have made. This was difficult to swallow and my response was simply I am not judging them and I think nothing less of them but that doesn't mean I have to date them. She was just angry at the fact that I refuse to give in to what she thinks and everything the world was telling me. I was sad and hurt because I don't want to come off that way but I am unwilling to change either.
I called a friend during lunch and was pointed back to scripture. I knew it and but I was thankful to hear it. Then, the next morning during my quiet time I stumbled upon the price of being a believer. The vs. that talk about giving everything up for God and that there will be a price and it should be very costly. This made me feel so much better but also was hard to take in. I so often forget as my life can at times be too easy. I can forget to share as it is increasingly difficult where I am at, I can forget to love, to pray, to read and to put Him first. That is when my life begins to block the light and to cast a shadow.
I plan on trying to pray more, harder, longer and more purposeful. God may never take everything from my life but I know that He wants me to be at a place that at any moment He could take it all away and I would still love Him just as much. I want to be a reflection of Him, not something that hides Him. That, is a constant battle with self, time, and the world.
Thank you Father for your Spirit that dwells in us. I ask that it would be the light and strength that guides me. You tell us to ask, may I never be so prideful that I forget that. May I always be willing to give up even that which you have caused me to wait and be patient for. May my deepest longings be always for you and my trust overflow. I pray you would drive my prayer and own my heart...each and every beat you allow, every breath that flows through my lungs. May I be a light, not a shadow.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Looking up.
I looked up as I usually do and today was just amazed at the way God painted the sky. This seemingly simple subject never to me seems commenplace. Just about everytime that I am outside I can not help but look up to see what it is that God has made today. And, I am not dissapointed as the greatest artist can not make something unbeautiful. It is one of those moments when you see something beautiful you stare and you are breathless. The kind you want nothing to cause you to look away.
There is much to love of the sky. At night, there is the moon, the stars and sometimes dark clouds, shooting stars, comets and eclipses. Durring the day it is sun, clouds, rainbows, the moon, sunrises, sunsets and lighting. Today I looked at the many types of clouds he put together. Large puffy, lone clouds, masses of many dark clouds, swirley ones, bright ones, some traveling, some suspended in place, smooth thin clouds, smeared ones where it was raining, some with lighting flashing. What else could show God's glory, His beauty, His power, or His hand in creation more then the heavens?
I guess I am even more remided of each and every stroke He puts in us. He tells us in Psalms how He knit us together in our mothers womb. How detailed is our God. From every eyelash to every toe He created us for Himself, the masterfull and purposful artist. Too bad we are not as amazed that He made us so fearfully and wonderfully as we are when we see the sky. No, we are more prone to admire others and look to what lines and curves or lack of curves they have...Well, He is the maker, the artist and I like that he makes things so full of variety. When did you ever hear a piece of clay talking back to the one who made it and complaining about the way it looked or wanting to be made for some other purpose. Can you imagine if your cup just began to complain about the roses you painted on the side of it? Or better yet if it begged you to let it be a plate rather then a cup. The sky today would not have been as beautiful had He not mixed all the clouds I would have never put together. Besides the outside I love the fun mix of personality, humor, passion, love, intelligence, and all the things that make us different. He knows better and today was such a reminder of that.
There is much to love of the sky. At night, there is the moon, the stars and sometimes dark clouds, shooting stars, comets and eclipses. Durring the day it is sun, clouds, rainbows, the moon, sunrises, sunsets and lighting. Today I looked at the many types of clouds he put together. Large puffy, lone clouds, masses of many dark clouds, swirley ones, bright ones, some traveling, some suspended in place, smooth thin clouds, smeared ones where it was raining, some with lighting flashing. What else could show God's glory, His beauty, His power, or His hand in creation more then the heavens?
I guess I am even more remided of each and every stroke He puts in us. He tells us in Psalms how He knit us together in our mothers womb. How detailed is our God. From every eyelash to every toe He created us for Himself, the masterfull and purposful artist. Too bad we are not as amazed that He made us so fearfully and wonderfully as we are when we see the sky. No, we are more prone to admire others and look to what lines and curves or lack of curves they have...Well, He is the maker, the artist and I like that he makes things so full of variety. When did you ever hear a piece of clay talking back to the one who made it and complaining about the way it looked or wanting to be made for some other purpose. Can you imagine if your cup just began to complain about the roses you painted on the side of it? Or better yet if it begged you to let it be a plate rather then a cup. The sky today would not have been as beautiful had He not mixed all the clouds I would have never put together. Besides the outside I love the fun mix of personality, humor, passion, love, intelligence, and all the things that make us different. He knows better and today was such a reminder of that.
Thursday, August 03, 2006
What are you on the planet for?
You know the verses in the Bible that speak about the body and it's many parts? What about those that talk about what we are to live for? Or, if you were around the Paasch's this weekend the new question is something along the lines of what are we made for? (But each person answers specifically about what they think they are made for. Well, I don't know for sure what God will do but I can tell you what I know.
My answer to the question was God made me with lots of passion for many things and the energy to carry it through. By this I mean there are few things I won't try and very few I won't enjoy. I take the opportunities I see in front of me weighing the importance at the time and searching out their value. That passion and love for about everything mixed with the love God gave me to share with people puts me in many different circles. I love people, I love new people I just sometimes need someone to point them out to me as my focus can be distracted. Once I am focused on something I am very driven and will do my best to keep up and follow up. I will do what I can I just pray my focus will always be right.
So, lately there was something I had been missing. There was something distracting me the last couple months or a number of things and somehow I just felt like I was having a difficult time. It was not till this weekend that things finally began to make sense. I realized through this that though my life was joyful I was missing out on something. My love for sharing the gospel. This excites me more then just about anything and so I felt I had been pushing it aside and throwing other things in my pathway.
We had gone out to Mill a couple weeks ago to share and I had an awesome time yet I was still stand-offish. Somehow I had let my distrust and attitude toward guys specifically take charge and I was focusing more on that in every situation rather then looking for the opportunity to share. I know this seems very silly but I am rather stand-offish with guys and choose to be nice when I want. I did not used to be that way but have just let all the negative situations with guys affect how I would see them. Let me tell you how often they mistake my niceness for flirting. I have even had several of my guy friends at one time or another think it was OK to grab me and kiss me without my permission though only one manage to smack me on the lips. Lynne pointed out there was some sin involved as I am called to love others. I just can be very outgoing and nice and don't like guys who flirt with me, or the ones that try and pick me up. I felt if I just ignored them all, even the good ones, that I would not have to deal with them liking me or getting the wrong impressions. My irritations from customers at work, guys I know who dance, random friends, and the constant feeling of needing to protect my self began to come out in sin. It even began to affect the relationship with the guys in my life who are very important to me and I began to miss their wisdom and company. Still, it is sin and I have been trying to be nice again and be myself and let God do the protecting.
This seeing things differently opened up opportunities I had been ignoring. I am so excited because there is a guy that I met at Starbucks. He is a bit older and has a daughter my age and we have been chatting the last couple mornings. I go there everyday before work to do my quiet time and so I decided one morning to look up from God's word and began to seek out opportunities again as I realized how much I missed sharing. It really is the thing that sparks me the most. When I looked up I found an opportunity and have about another week or two before this guy goes back to California.....I will keep you posted but he said he would meet me there again tommorow for day three of discussion.
The second opportunity this week was with a co-worker. I have three co-workers who are Catholics, three who claim nothing, one who is Muslim, one who goes to the church I go to and another who is a believer and attends a small Bible church but occationally goes to the college group with me. I look for opportunities daily to share but sometimes forget. This week on lunch one day I decided to hang out with one girl who says she is Catholic. I was able to share my testimony and my sisters and completely lay out the gospel for her. I was so excited and I don't think she knew how to respond so she brought up something like a church retreat she had gone to. She will continue to be in my prayers.
My personal banker I am teamed up with also claims to be Catholic. I was able to share with her a couple weeks ago and try to continue it when I get an opportunity. There is also a guy there who I have invited to church on several occations...we will see. I guess I am just really excited and looking for more. I will be pursuing and praying and hope I let nothing drown that passion I have because it robs me of much joy. I can really tell the difference it makes in my life as I lack something when I am not sharing. I know God gifts us for a purpose even if I am only a seed planter I know that is one thing I am made for. That really gets me going and excites me. I don't know anything better.
My answer to the question was God made me with lots of passion for many things and the energy to carry it through. By this I mean there are few things I won't try and very few I won't enjoy. I take the opportunities I see in front of me weighing the importance at the time and searching out their value. That passion and love for about everything mixed with the love God gave me to share with people puts me in many different circles. I love people, I love new people I just sometimes need someone to point them out to me as my focus can be distracted. Once I am focused on something I am very driven and will do my best to keep up and follow up. I will do what I can I just pray my focus will always be right.
So, lately there was something I had been missing. There was something distracting me the last couple months or a number of things and somehow I just felt like I was having a difficult time. It was not till this weekend that things finally began to make sense. I realized through this that though my life was joyful I was missing out on something. My love for sharing the gospel. This excites me more then just about anything and so I felt I had been pushing it aside and throwing other things in my pathway.
We had gone out to Mill a couple weeks ago to share and I had an awesome time yet I was still stand-offish. Somehow I had let my distrust and attitude toward guys specifically take charge and I was focusing more on that in every situation rather then looking for the opportunity to share. I know this seems very silly but I am rather stand-offish with guys and choose to be nice when I want. I did not used to be that way but have just let all the negative situations with guys affect how I would see them. Let me tell you how often they mistake my niceness for flirting. I have even had several of my guy friends at one time or another think it was OK to grab me and kiss me without my permission though only one manage to smack me on the lips. Lynne pointed out there was some sin involved as I am called to love others. I just can be very outgoing and nice and don't like guys who flirt with me, or the ones that try and pick me up. I felt if I just ignored them all, even the good ones, that I would not have to deal with them liking me or getting the wrong impressions. My irritations from customers at work, guys I know who dance, random friends, and the constant feeling of needing to protect my self began to come out in sin. It even began to affect the relationship with the guys in my life who are very important to me and I began to miss their wisdom and company. Still, it is sin and I have been trying to be nice again and be myself and let God do the protecting.
This seeing things differently opened up opportunities I had been ignoring. I am so excited because there is a guy that I met at Starbucks. He is a bit older and has a daughter my age and we have been chatting the last couple mornings. I go there everyday before work to do my quiet time and so I decided one morning to look up from God's word and began to seek out opportunities again as I realized how much I missed sharing. It really is the thing that sparks me the most. When I looked up I found an opportunity and have about another week or two before this guy goes back to California.....I will keep you posted but he said he would meet me there again tommorow for day three of discussion.
The second opportunity this week was with a co-worker. I have three co-workers who are Catholics, three who claim nothing, one who is Muslim, one who goes to the church I go to and another who is a believer and attends a small Bible church but occationally goes to the college group with me. I look for opportunities daily to share but sometimes forget. This week on lunch one day I decided to hang out with one girl who says she is Catholic. I was able to share my testimony and my sisters and completely lay out the gospel for her. I was so excited and I don't think she knew how to respond so she brought up something like a church retreat she had gone to. She will continue to be in my prayers.
My personal banker I am teamed up with also claims to be Catholic. I was able to share with her a couple weeks ago and try to continue it when I get an opportunity. There is also a guy there who I have invited to church on several occations...we will see. I guess I am just really excited and looking for more. I will be pursuing and praying and hope I let nothing drown that passion I have because it robs me of much joy. I can really tell the difference it makes in my life as I lack something when I am not sharing. I know God gifts us for a purpose even if I am only a seed planter I know that is one thing I am made for. That really gets me going and excites me. I don't know anything better.
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