A Calling

So this weekend a question was asked. If you were told you had 30 years to live what would you do with those years? I answered the question in a way I am still in agreement with but I my mind never ends after the fact. It has been four days and as I was cleaning my mind began churning more about that. I am only 25 but there are things I say that I am going to do when I am 30. I am not much of a plan maker but none the less there are things I think about. So, what struck me most is how we are the people of God allot ed time on this planet. Now, you would think that since we are in such a hurry to go home...and I am so in a hurry to get there, that we would change how we live.

Let me paint a different picture. I know God has me here as long as he wants me to be here. I remember part of my answer on Sunday night was that I would live and plan for the first five years and fix all the relationships I have here and say my good buys and make sure to leave a mark on my family and share with them. Then...I would go. I would then spend the last two years in some very dangerous place knowing that I was promised 30 years but not the quality of those years. So today as I was cleaning and singing I thought what a funny but true statement I had made. I am not worried about the time span or the fear of dying...it is the fear of the quality of the life here. What an idiot I am! What in the heck am I doing waisting my time because I am focused on making sure my life here is quality. Yep...smack me in the face and please wake me up. I know months ago I wrote a blog about living more dangerously for the gospel and I said something about not living stupidly. But, what defines stupidity? Knowing God is maintaining my life and the quality of it should make me live a life of reckless abandonment. Now, I do mean danger is OK. I have family, but no husband or children minus my few animals. Why would I focus on trying to carve out a nice little hole, a dwelling in this planet where I am safe and can maintain my few years? Why should I waist my years and spend time trying to look nice and buy nice things and make sure I am taken care of? I want to go home and what better way then to go and live a life of danger knowing when it is my time I will go and there is no better life then one lived and a death for God and His glory.

I think God may have just changed my life forever to one spent as goer rather then a sender. I hope He now gives me the strength to do it and step out. I want to be able to step out on the water knowing I will only sink if I fail to put ALL my faith in Him. Knowing when I trust Him I can walk on the water to Him. Now I just need to find out where He wants to send me and where I will go. There is a chance I will try to study abroad in Africa for a semester with a missions organization. I think I should Go. Now I just pray that God will send me and my motivation will not dye down and my passion will only increase. Where I do not know but I want to GO. So this weekend, January, hopefully next year I can begin to plan it out.