Father, You let us be disobediant children. Day after day we chase and are bombarded by everything but You. Growing hurts but when I see what I am in sight of You and Your glory I am thankful that You don't leave me unchanged. May it continue and Father God I pray that my heartbeats lines up with Yours. Beat. Beat. Beat.
Tonight, though unsaid exactly I realized how much I try to force my plan as Your will. It is so terribly wrong and it prevents me from seeing what Your trying to show me. You know times and futures and what life and people will be like and I need to believe more then just trust that. My wants are not necessarily what is best for me in life but I see how I can push or manipulate sometimes meaning to and sometimes not but none the less it has the same effect. Father, may I not force directions but may I allow You to lead. I panic and push with so many things. I can't handle steady water.
It totally breaks my heart and makes me realize how many things I feel like I messed up. I don't regret life but I will grow....I don't like having to go through the experiences to get that way. God I beg You to allow me to pursue Your will and Your wants and not mistake my own for Your plan. Make it clear when something is me trying to be in control and may my heart be at peace. I love You God and am so, so very sorry and heartbroken that I don't trust You so I have to move...and...all the time. Burning one thing to another trying to find my own way through life. If I would calm it down and not try to speed life up at the rate I go...things might be different and might change. May my heart not want my will or see my own seeking as Your will. Show me Your will and Your love.
God, how beautiful You are and how I wish my words were enough. I love You so much and want to want You more. I need You so much. Thank You precious love for all You do. For saving me and continuing to rescue me. For being my Father even when I run. For Your forgiving and all consuming love. I want You so bad...I ache for Your presence. The joy You give, the way You move and how I can move to You. There is nothing else for me but You. May I know and be Your copassion and love others first. I want You to change me and make me useful for You. Show and teach me how to love. There is so much going on outside of me I ask You to show me. Make me see how little I matter and how each and everything can be solved by my love and focus on You. Change my heart, my mind, fill my voids, the deepest parts. Sometimes songs just say it all so much better. Thank You beautiful God...
Garden by Needtobreathe
Won’t you take this cup from me
‘Cause fear has stolen all my sleep
If tomorrow means my death
I pray you’ll save their souls with it
Let the songs I sing
Bring joy to you
Let the words I say profess my love
Let the notes I choose
Be your favorite tune
Father let my heart be after you
In this hour of doubt I see
But who I am is not just me
So give me strength to die myself
So love can live to tell the tale
Let the songs I sing
Bring joy to you
Let the words I say profess my love
Let the notes I choose
Be your favorite tune
Father let my heart be after you
Father let my heart be…
For you
Let the songs I sing
Bring joy to you
Let the words I say profess my love
Let the notes I choose
Be your favorite tune
Father let my heart be after you
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