Take Captive

Meeting for Spain, 8 a.m. Finished step one of the day with much time left. I am in front of this shiny computer screen once again. Today's meeting was most interesting to me because there was a large section of it based on personality tests. I love this stuff. I am continually fascinated by people and their personalities. I like to figure them out or continually try. I like to know how they work with my personality, good combinations, potential hardships, I can't help but be in love with personalities. So, needless to say today was great.

I have to be careful how much I put into personality tests for sure. I like to see combinations and how they work together. That led me down a road of curiousity as to what personality matched relationally well with mine. See where this is going yet? I researched that topic and arrived at theories on "perfect" pairings for my own personality. I am an ESFP. I had to take multiple tests in order to figure this situation out. In order for me to understand how I react and respond with others I have to be able to figure out what I am first. Step one cleared.

Next of course my mind out of curiosity was lead down a direction to see about dating possibilities. I am so picky with guys. I give few the time of day. I don't mind. It is almost impossible to get my attention when you want it but somehow every now and again something will and once it is there it is pretty much locked on. I also am aware of those people who have gained my interest and am usually amazing at rebounding when I have to. However, I still maintain my distance and am careful beyond measure. Though I like the idea of love I only really want one guy in my life. I have yet to have a boyfriend, though I have had many, many guy friends. You can see that God has had a hand in this situation, plus I am extremely careful with my attention and affection...a combination of the two has allowed me to be where I am at 28 years old.

Now, that does not mean I am not interested in finding the right guy by any means. So, of course I take into account what I have like about guys and what I have not. Some of it is clear and some of it is not. Either way, this lead me researching what a possibly match is for my type. One theory is the INTJ or INFJ.

http://www.personalitypage.com/ENFP_rel.html

So, of course I begin researching these types. I then take a quiz on a facebook site. The first one I answered sounded very incorrect. I retook it. The second one would pair me with an INFJ. Funny because I was going to try and prove it wrong. It may be wrong I just think it is funny because somehow it says that is the two types I am most attracted to and in a strange way it might be correct. I was thinking through the types and learning about all the people in the group today. I guess in some way even though right now I refuse to go down any road in my mind with any guy I still mentally begin searching and scanning. I am having to fight that continually because I don't want to jump from one guy to the next. So, now I have to take my thoughts captive and focus on something else.

I am glad I cannot remember what any of the guys in the group are...and thankfully there is only one who is single. That is something I have had to struggle and fight with a ton in the last few months. It is so easy to go down roads in your head. It can be good thoughts, anger, pain, planning, it can be excitement. Either way for a thinker the best thing I can to right now is try and control my thinking...and that can be very difficult at times.

II Cor 10:5
We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,

Impossible, not a chance. Right now I am trying to replace the things I should not be thinking about with prayer. Prayer for friends, life, the person I am thinking about, the thought I just had and asking forgiveness for it and the list goes on. Your mind is a powerful thing especially connected to a heart. There is something to be said for mental stimulation and the controlling of what goes on up there. For me that had to be the beginning of where I am at with Christ. It starts with thinking but has to be moved forward with actions. I cannot deny I think through so many plans and possibilities and almost can always shift or have thought of something far in advance. There are things I feel stupid for thinking too far ahead in and then when it doesn't go my way I am sad. I can get very excited and wrapped up in my head when I think I know what God is doing. Sometimes there is great disappointment in that. There are things right now that pop in my head trying to convince me of something that is not a fact. I have to fight it. I have to fight what I do not know.

Focus. Focus on what I know. Don't let my mind wander into areas it should not, areas that will hurt me, areas that do not glorify God. I cannot let a distraction take control. We allow things to distract our minds. It is a lack of control. I am fending off every distraction that is possible for now. It has to be so delighting for Satan to know with thinkers all we have to do is lack spiritual control in our mind. I can go down a thousand roads I should not. I can also just keep thinking about everything but You. Sometimes all I have to do is keep my mind so busy I don't really spend time with You or in Your Word. I will not underestimate Father that You tell me to put on my armor every day. Father, help me to not excuse sin. Especially in the mind where anything can be an idol, a desire, a thought, a distraction. May I be completely and fully consumed by You.